“Good evening, sir…”
You could tell that the longest Christmas season in the world has begun right here in the Philippines just from the way my students have started to dress as soon as the first of the “ber-ber” months came on.
September, technically, is still part of the rainy season but since wading through floodwaters is not really a common experience in this mountainous city, I just know that that’s not the reason why the ladies of Omega Class are wearing tall boots.
“Hmm...I don’t seem to recall seeing some horses tied down in front of the college so how did you pistoleras make it to class tonight, huh?”
They laugh.
“These are not cowboy boots sir, those things went out with the 70’s. Anyway we’re not cowgirls,” Miss Ursula Bahag-hari chided.
“I’m glad to hear that,” I said, “especially because in this day and age gender is no longer bipolar. We’d have to make adjustments for political correctness in case those might be cow-LGBTQ boots.” More giggles.
“These are winter boots, sir,” Miss Pinky Maglia Rosa chimed in, “it’s one of the subtle perks of studying in Baguio City. This time of year we can indulge in four-season fashion like they could never do in Manila!”
“Well, nothing wrong with pretending you’re in North America or Europe,” I answered back, “And now with Queen Elizabeth II dead, there’s so much media coverage of those four-season countries, you know--England, Northern Ireland, Wales, Scotland…I mean going Anglo-Saxon is trending hottest all over social media this past week.”
“Oh, you’re telling us, sir,” Miss Pinky sassed, “we’re up to our ears in royal trivia. There’s practically nothing else on cable TV and the internet except Queen Elizabeth this, Queen Elizabeth that, it’s so sickening. In fact, me and my classmates—”
“My classmates and I,” I corrected again.
“Right, sir—my classmates and I were just saying what an irony it is that the birthplace of Constitutional Law is also where you can find the most unconstitutional form of government—that disgusting and pompous monarchy!”
“Funny you should mention that, Miss Pinky, because I wanted us to discuss a little bit about ‘constitutional monarchy’ and the myth that it is a form of government.”
“It isn’t?” Miss Ursula squawked.
“No, it is not,” I began to explain, “the English Monarchy and the British Parliament are parallel institutions. One doesn’t really owe its existence to the other, but one cannot really survive without the other. To understand how that system works, first I want you to ignore the royals for the timebeing, act like they didn’t exist, and just focus on the workings of the British parliament.”
“It is the first and therefore the oldest parliament in history, that’s why it is sometimes called the ‘Mother of all Parliaments.’ It has two chambers, the House of Lords and the House of Commons. Now I want you ignore the House of Lords, for the timebeing, act like it didn’t exist—”
“This is a strange way of studying any government, sir, we keep dividing it into two parts and discarding one part,” Miss Ursula interjected.
“It just looks that way, Miss Ursula, but actually what we’re doing is setting aside the ceremonial institutions so we can take a closer look at the functional institutions,” I said.
“Oh! Right, sir, please continue,” the girl said, eliciting laughter from her classmates for sounding like she was giving ME permission.
“Thank you, Miss Ursula. Now for the remainder of this lecture, let’s try to keep the number of interruptions to a minimum of, say, NONE.” More guffaws.
“Anyway, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, you take the House of Commons and just imagine that everything that happens in our own bicameral Congress, with the Senate and the Lower House combined, is what happens in their House of Commons under one roof. That’s it. Now you understand how the British government works.”
The whole class stares at me with glassy eyes.
“Wait, sir, what about the House of Lords? happened to the House of Lords?? Where is the Queen or King in all that??”
“I just told you,” I said, “Everything that happens in OUR Congress is what happens in their House of Commons—including freak accidents like Robin Padilla, Lito Lapid, Bong Revilla and near-misses like Harry Roque and Larry Gadon. So you end up with somebody filing a bill to criminalize ghosting and such other stupid ideas. When you hear about all these things, what do you feel, Miss Pinky?”
“Sir, I feel like screaming at the top of my voice ‘IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE WHO CAN DO SOMETHING TO STOP THESE IDIOTS??!” Miss Pinky literally yelled, startling her classmates.
“There you go,” I said, “If you were in London, the answer to your question would be, ‘Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus who grants wishes and it’s called the House of Lords!”
My class goes a long “Oooooohhh….!”
“You see, class, although the House of Commons does most of the heavy lifting legislation-wise, the House of Lords must always concur with it. Under their system, those two houses must always agree. If they disagree once or twice too often, it’s the failure of the Prime Minister whose job it is to act as primary liaison or ‘bridge diplomat’ between them—”
“And they oust him with a vote of No-Confidence, right sir?” Miss Ursula butted in.
“Yes, and as soon as there is a new prime minister, then logically he’ll want to reorganize parliament too. So parliament is not really ‘dissolved’ like it is reported in the news, it’s just reconstituted.” My students nod their heads furiously—it’s sinking in.
“After that, guess who the new prime minister went to see first, before anyone else?”
“The Queen,” Miss Pinky fills in
“Right,” I said, “but, of course, starting now it’s going to be the King. Now, they will chit-chat for a while, drink afternoon tea, but at the end of the day, all that really matters is that the prime minister receive the royal charge, or ROYAL ORDER from the King, and can you do an impression of the King doing that, Miss Pinky?”
The girl stood up, faced her classmates and in a stiff British accent said, “Mister Prime Minister, go forth ye and form me a Government!” her classmates clap their hands lightly, amused at the imaginary scenario.
“Now to answer your last question, which I know none of you will remember to ask, how are these officials selected? Those belonging to the House of Commons are elected by district, or by burroughs actually, and they are called Members of Parliament of ‘MP’s’. But those in the House of Lords are hybrid, some of them represent permanent sectors, a few are elected at-large but a good number of them are appointed by the Queen or starting now, by the King. They are called Lords or Ladies. What do you think is the implication of that, Miss Ursula?”
“Sir, I think the British are determined to keep the nobility of their culture and politics at all costs. So while they will allow commoners to rise in government through popular elections, they reserve by law a permanent hold on power for the ruling class that no pretensions of democracy can dilute. That's why they are hell-bent on preserving the elite culture of the royalty, because to them the English royal tradition is the gold standard for all of modern human society—snobbish, terse, pompous, civilized and genteel. I forget the exact term for it, sir.”
“It’s WASP.”
“Wasp, as in hornet or bumblebee, sir?”
“No, WASP--as in White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. THAT, to the British Monarchy, is the highest benchmark of English culture, government and society. The King or Queen will always be white and will always be affiliated with the Church of England and his highest perpetual duty is to be the 'Defender of the Faith.' So you can drop all wishful thinking that Meghan Markle would ever become a true royal—or any of her children for that matter.”*
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